The GOP rodeo clowns are chasing the clown-car around the "big-tent"...LOOK at them GO! The elephants are running wild in the streets of South Carolina!
Yesterday was perhaps the craziest day in GOP politics in years - maybe in history! Rick Perry and his gaffe-a-minute machine decided to retreat and call and end to the war he's been fighting. The day before, Perry claimed, "South Carolina is at war with the federal government"! I guess you can't be a good Texas governor unless you talk about wars! After claiming he would never, ever drop out of the race - he drops out the very next day! I suppose the Koch brothers must have given him some - advice? After holstering his empty pistol - Perry endorsed, Newt Gingrich! I'm not sure a Perry endorsement is worth more than a bucket of freshly squeezed goat milk - but I'm sure Newt will take it! I suspect Texas will be seceding, again - right after the South Carolina primary!
Meanwhile an-ex Mrs Newt was over at ABC telling them that Newt wanted to keep a blonde mistress on the side while Mrs Newt was home taking care of the young-ins (that piece being his current wife Callista) and wanted her to well, just accept it. That's a sweet deal - IF you can get a signature! That one really confuses me, because I thought that was a Mormon thing! But I digress...
At a local house of worship the southern teavangelicals went to meetin' then suddenly they were all over my 46" HDTV last night defending Gingrich The Whoremonger claiming they believe in "forgiveness and restoration" and "god is a forgiving god". Of course these are the same reverends who endlessly pontificate about "family values"! I wonder if those teavangelicals would be so "forgiving" if President Obama told Michelle, "honey, I got this fine sista that I wanna kick it with, you won't mind if we knock da boots will ya"? Hell no they wouldn't - they'd be calling him a "Chicago ghetto pimp hustler"...but again, I digress...
Meanwhile the forgiven and restored Newt surges into the lead in all the major polls sending Romney into a fit of rage!
Romney was asked by a person in the crowd “What will you do to support the 99 percent seeing as how you are part of the 1 percent?” Romney shot back, "Those who try and divide the nation, as you’re trying to do here and as our President is doing, are hurting this country, America’s right and you’re wrong.” Ouch! You been slapped down by Stephen Colbert's "Mitt The Ripper"!
Of course last week on another Mitt episode we learned that "the 99% are envious of the 1%" and that Mitt only wants to discuss wealth and taxes "in quiet rooms".
At the same time that protester was rankling Mitt into fury the news-wires were melting with Cayman Island stories detailing how Mitt has evaded millions in taxes prompting Mitt to explain just how much he pays in taxes "probably closer to 15 percent than anything," he said. Mitt said he wrote a book but gave away the proceeds to charity...that was a nice of him! He also said he gets speaker fees "from time to time, but not very much." Of course not very much to Mitt is $374,000. $374,000 would dramatically transform the lives of most in the 99% - butt Mitt don't seem to be able to connect the dots!
On another clownstage Santorum appeared from his gay bashing Time Machine to declare victory in - IOWA! There he was claiming victory in Iowa in South Carolina and railing against gays and contraceptives! I'm really confused now! Do they have "voter ID" for the morons that count the votes in Iowa? How could you be "first in the nation" and then completely and totally botch an election of such importance? What if Santorum had been announced the winner on election night in Iowa?
And then I asked myself...where in the hell is Ron Paul? My sources tell me the old dude was taking a nap!